For me, the scene in the sit-com Frasier between English physical therapist Daphne Moon and retired cop Martin Crane sums up America’s attitude towards Britain’s teeth:
Daphne: Bloody hell! Five days after Christmas is over and I’m still getting these cards! They do it on purpose, you know. It’s always from someone you forgot, and then it’s too late to send one back, then they sneer at you for the rest of the year! [reads card] “Peace and Goodwill,” my ass! You just lost yourself a customer, Dr. Naran S. Gupta, DDS!
Martin: [sarcastic] Losing a set of English teeth, he’ll feel that!
Indeed. If you’re British and have naturally fabulous teeth, either through genetics or a visionary orthodontist, then I salute you.
Speaking as someone who has had to work long and hard for it, I think the Americans are spot on when they say your smile says everything about you: your health, mental and emotional states, and investment priorities. It’s not just horses that are judged on their teeth.
Having a great smile is a huge boost to your confidence, career and relationship prospects, and is a thing of beauty. People often considered handsome in later life have great bone structures: brows, cheekbones, nose, jawline – and teeth. Think Cary Grant and George Clooney.
It’s an asset anybody can have at any age, and I would recommend everyone to take pride in his or her smile from childhood, particularly as dental care in the UK is then free.
There is alas no substitute for brushing 2-3 times each day and flossing daily – and being English that last part even makes me laugh. It is still the best way to ensure the acidic ravages of food, drink, nicotine and stress don’t burn and stain their way through your enamel, teeing you up for astronomical dental bills and premature ageing. And this is often worsened by people scrubbing at their teeth like a suede brush on a winter boot.
To this end, my dentist – the maestro Mervyn Druian – recommended I use Ultradex toothpaste, which contains no sulphates or harsh abrasives. It claims it is clinically proven to protect your teeth and gums, and eliminate bad breath, but also to restore the natural whiteness of your teeth within 14 days.
And I have to say that a blob of the non-foaming mint flavoured paste does what it says, without the burning feeling that regular toothpaste seems to give me. I also feel like my teeth have been cleaned rather than brushed. While using an electric toothbrush means no paste is wasted down the sink and a tube can last for several months.
So go low-abrasion. And maybe take a year or two off your smile.
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